Are you a Thermometer or a Thermostat?


What were your first thoughts when you read the title? Did you think that this blog would be about the differences between these temperature tools? Or maybe you thought that this blog was going to share new information about temperature and the current state of global warming. Either way, I would like to invite you to shift your perspective about how you view and define the purpose of a thermometer and thermostat.

As parents, my husband and I often navigate conversations with our children based on goal-setting, decision-making, advocacy, etc. But lately, we have been talking to our children about their intentional impact and how they show up in their spaces. Recently, my husband asked the kids, are you a thermometer or a thermostat? Can you visualize asking three teenagers this question and the puzzled look that quickly emerged on their faces?

My oldest said, “that doesn’t make any sense”. A thermometer takes someone’s temperature. My youngest said, “How can I be something that is stuck on the wall?” My middle child did not bother to answer. Having a middle child brings joy to my mom-world that I sometimes forget to embrace, lol. My persistent husband poses the question again, “are you a thermometer or a thermostat”? No one responds this time. What happened next warmed my soul.

My husband proceeds to explain that a thermometer checks the temperature and a thermostat sets the temperature. He described to my children that whenever you enter a space or room you make a subconscious choice to be a thermometer or a thermostat. Making this choice allows you to decide how you will engage in conversations, what you will contribute, and what you desire to attain. Preparing children to make decisions that impact their future is a difficult task. Getting your children to understand how they can take ownership of their lives and identify their goals is a continuous process. As a parent, I have experienced so much during the struggles of their intentional growth.

Being reflective and making space in your daily life for intentional action is an essential part of growth for both children and adults. Do you make time daily to pause and reflect? What do you notice when you intentionally spend this time in reflective thought? As you enter different spaces and function in your various roles, I encourage you to think about how you will show up. Will you choose to be a thermometer or a thermostat? Ask yourself, why you made your personal choice and own it!

Shelley Bethel
Executive Director of Equity & Inclusion

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